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Mitch’s 27th Birthday

It was a brisk night in Madison on April 21, 2006. Craig and I arrived in “Mad-Towne” around 9:30 that night, and we went straight to Mitch and Matt’s. Once in their neighborhood, I was yelled at by someone to “LEARN HOW TO DRIVE A STICK!” I was in a puddle and my tires chirped out of it. My car is an automatic, and he is retarded. Mitch greeted us outside and led us into the house. Once inside I saw Matt, sitting on the couch playing golf on the NES. We had to wait for Mitch for almost two hours while he got ready for the evening. “I just like to look good for the college chicks” he proclaimed. After Mitch finished primping we picked up Jennifer and hit downtown. We started off at State Street Brats where Mitch said let’s get shots; I said I wasn’t doing shots. Four shots later we had Tequila, Jager, McGillicutty, and some pineapple vodka shot, with beer in between, lots, and lots and lots of beer. Mitch got a picture with some of the oldest timers in the bar and then we went upstairs to sit by the Cap’n. We then left for Amy’s pub or bar or tavern, not sure which but it had some nice outdoor seating where a couple dudes fell onto and knocked over the railing. It was around 11:30 then and I was straight fucked up with no end in sight, mostly because everything in sight was blurry. I knew I had come to that fine line between drunk and useless bastard, so I leapt forward with no regard for my well being. Come 12:30 we were drinking Sierra Nevada and pushing each other into to passers bye. We seemed to be invisible to them, as they were too busy talking about foreign affairs and hating Bush to have any fun. I guess most people in Madison are fragile, pacifist, conscientious objectors. I did not know that. I did find one person I managed to piss off at Paul’s Club because she barged into a conversation that Mitch, Blake and I were having and I said something along the lines of, “Just because you overheard our conversation does not mean you have an invitation to come in and voice your opinion. Go away.” Here is Mitch holding her at bay and telling her, “He didn’t mean that,” while she is drunk pointing, and calling me an asshole. I’m not an asshole, am I? Blake gave her the “look at this girl” thumb and she flipped me off. Fuck her. Blake showed up a little before that girl was rude and had a few drinks with us and thankfully drove us all home. Craig sat down with a couple girls and it looks like he is saying “I know, I hate it when strange men just sit down and talk to me too.” The girl in the red is pretty much laughing at him while the other is trying to keep a straight face. Before Blake took us home, we walked across the street for some late night pizza at Ian’s Pizzeria. After Pizza, we found Blake’s car and he took us all home. On the way Mitch asked Jennifer if she wanted to come over but not in “THAT” way. Nice Mitch. Blake dropped off Jennifer, and then took us back to Mitch’s. I guess he didn’t drop us off directly in front of Mitch’s house because I spent about two minutes leaning on and banging the shit out of some poor fuck’s front door thinking It was Mitch’s. It had a for sale sign in the front yard that Mitch drunkenly kicked in, then proceeded to run away like someone other than us saw him do it. We eventually made it upstairs and instead of doing the right thing and throwing up, I passed out. I paid for that in the morning. I woke up dizzy as fuck and could barely stand. While I was struggling with my vertigo, Craig just kept saying “He-Man pee pants.” I still don’t know what the fuck he meant by that. That’s Craig I guess. I managed to get to the bathroom and throw up my Pepperoni Pizza I ate the night before and a little alcohol to boot. I have not thrown up since my 24th birthday I had in Des Moines with Broox and Mitch. I hope you had a good night Mitch because I paid for it in full Saturday.

Here are the rest of the pics.

Per Jennifer’s Request, Dancin’ Rick.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, April 25th, 2006 at 11:30 am and is filed under Events. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Responses are currently closed, but you can trackback from your own site.

27 Responses to “Mitch’s 27th Birthday”

  1. SammyMonkey Says:
    April 25th, 2006 at 11:56 am

    HOT. Puking, drunken stumbling, shots. MitcHell with eyes at 1/2 mast. That’s so new I’ve NEVER seen that!

    Ah I’m just nudgin ya. Looked like a rocking dlunk time. I’ve had to cut that level of drunkeness out of my life due to my extreme agedness.

  2. Rankin Says:
    April 25th, 2006 at 12:09 pm

    No Richard, you’re not an asshole, she’s just a stupid bitch. It’s bitches like that who derail the whole night. Fuck that bitch! She belongs with the retard in the video game section at Wal-Mart! Oh by the way, sweet a picture of the Cap’n. I knew you and your camera would finally snap somethin’ incredibly big, and this is a big one.

  3. dicksdad Says:
    April 25th, 2006 at 7:11 pm

    And after all the time I have spent trying to teach you how to drink responsibly.
    I do find it really hard to believe that someone would think one of my children could be an asshole.
    By the way great use of the “tard” picture.

  4. dick Says:
    April 26th, 2006 at 8:28 am

    By teach do you mean all those times you let me fall down the stairs to my room instead of telling me to sleep on the couch.

  5. Mr. Mitchell Todd Pilon Says:
    April 26th, 2006 at 9:28 am

    Mr. Ford,

    Lets get that fuckin pool open, eh? more soon.

  6. the spiteful bitch Says:
    April 26th, 2006 at 10:49 am

    this story is SO not funny. stop making fun of “retards”.

  7. dick Says:
    April 26th, 2006 at 12:19 pm

    They started it.

  8. dicksdad Says:
    April 26th, 2006 at 12:20 pm

    No one made fun of retards. We only made reference to “tards” or a picture of a “tard” that is in no way making fun of them.

    Mitch the pool is open and has been since before Easter.
    Not heated but open and pretty. Nice clear suck your balls into your abdomen cold water. Jump in.

    I didn’t want you puking on the couch. What I really meant was the example I set for you.

    Who is spiteful bitch? Did Amanda change her name?

  9. amanda Says:
    April 26th, 2006 at 12:27 pm

    your loving son changed my name last night. i thought that i would just chime in with it. i guess the shoe just fit, so now i am wearing it. but thanks for thinking of me first, don. it means a ton!!!

  10. Mr. Mitchell Todd Pilon Says:
    April 27th, 2006 at 7:09 am

    hahaha, so the truth finally comes out. Amanda, wow! i can only say that. dick, i have stories for you my friend, jesus. don, heat that mother fucker. i will not puke on your couch as your fat son did mine. i think it had to do with all that kissing him and craig were doing whilst gently cuddling and whispering in each-others ears. i need a vacation!!

  11. amanda Says:
    April 27th, 2006 at 2:10 pm

    this may be my newfound “homophobia” coming out in this comment, and i apoligize to anyone who is offended, or cant handle the crude “fag” jokes…but that is nauseating to think of richie and craig kissing. i think that mitch’s made up stories are just him trying to tell everyone “these are my fantasies, i am in love with my best friend.” THERE MITCH I TOLD EVERYONE!!! NO MORE SECRETS OR 3 AM PHONE CALLS CONFESSING YOUR LOVE FOR HIM. IT IS GETTING OLD.

  12. dick Says:
    April 27th, 2006 at 2:32 pm

    I have some notes Mitch left under our door the night of Derek’s reception. They were a real eye opener.

  13. Mr. Mitchell Todd Pilon Says:
    April 27th, 2006 at 6:43 pm

    oh man I really wish you would post those. too fucking funny. amanda, being jealous will not keep richards heart in your pocket. i know im better looking than you (through and through) but c’mon!!! im not gay, i only dream of it 2wice a week. also, when you’re not around i get those same calls at 3am. no big deal.

  14. Jennifer Says:
    April 28th, 2006 at 8:48 am

    Ok, first, those are the worst pictures of me ever.

    Second, what about our little friend at Brats? The one with all the hot moves and gold chains… I think he deserves at least a mention.

  15. dick Says:
    April 28th, 2006 at 9:06 am

    Oh shit, I forgot about him. I have a small video of him. I posted a link at the bottom of the story. Enjoy.

  16. Mr. Mitchell Todd Pilon Says:
    April 28th, 2006 at 10:36 am

    hahaha, i forgot about that bastard. man, he landed all the hot chicks with his rusty mustache and gold chains. what a stud. jealousy coursed through my veins.

  17. amanda Says:
    April 28th, 2006 at 11:06 am

    is he part of your fantasy mitch? are you planning on growing the stache back to match him? is he your idol?

    i think it is cute. you are finally grasping the reality that richie loves me and not you, and you are moving on….adorable.

  18. Mr. Mitchell Todd Pilon Says:
    April 28th, 2006 at 3:14 pm

    huh? why are you the only one talking about it then? is there a secret page that im unaware of?

  19. amanda Says:
    April 28th, 2006 at 4:06 pm

    no, it is just that i dont like to hear about richie kissing other guys…that is freaky. also, you flipped on my apparent homophobia. the clues were there, i just pieced somethings together and that is what i came up with. did i strike a nerve?

  20. Mr. Mitchell Todd Pilon. Says:
    April 28th, 2006 at 7:55 pm

    hahaha, not really. i just like to keep the crowd on their feet. IFF, you know what im sayin. amanda is the winner at the lates game of Clue, she “put all the pieces together.” good for you, amanda. I never recall Richard and I ever kissing. I just remember the pain!

  21. amanda Says:
    April 29th, 2006 at 2:17 pm

    hey–TIGHT ASS–that would be don. look at the awesome deal i am getting you. http://www.homeclick.com/showpage.asp?itemid=133731
    you are welcome.

  22. Dick's Dad Says:
    April 29th, 2006 at 6:29 pm

    OK let’s go back to comment number 19. You pieced some things together. Not somethings. Somethings are left not typed by retards.

    I am sure I am getting a fair price, however this is not the Price is Right and nobody sells anything for suggested retail. Bob Fucking Barker.

    I need a new brush too.
    Automatic vacuume and brush all in price 650.
    See if you can get it done.

  23. amanda Says:
    April 30th, 2006 at 7:00 pm

    before your douche bag instinct begins slamming other’s typos, perhaps you should purchase a dictionary and shove it in your ass. i believe, according to my knowledge of what some call “common sense”, that it is spelled vacuum…not vacuume. we are not in france, and we do not put an “e” at the end of every fucking word. i know it may be a surprise to you that i, of all people could make a mistake every once and a while, considering my flawless perfection as a woman. so back to comment 22, fuck you and your “deal”. go to sentry pools tight ass.

  24. Pierre Pilon Says:
    May 1st, 2006 at 1:00 pm

    hey, im French. You stupid american pigbats use your little words to try to impress each-other and your silly littls minds. silly, americans.

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