dick4d

Due to me not bringing my camera, not remembering in chronological order what happened, and sheer laziness, here is the link to Broox’s story.

Broox’s write-up.

So, I finally ate shit on my bike yesterday. Suck. Aside from a few bruises and cuts, I am Fine. The bike, like me, is also in awesome shape for what it went through. The old guy’s yard, however, is a little worse for wear. Here is what happened. I was hanging out around the house with Amanda, Lindsay, and Rankin watching football in the garage. I had a headache, and I was feeling a little dizzy too. I decided that a quick ride with the fresh air would be good for me. For about ten minutes, it was. Then it wasn’t. I hit about three staggered dips that sent my front tire wobbling violently. I knew that I had a choice at that point; crash in the road, or crash in the grass. Pretty easy decision I thought, now where do I go in? I had about 3 seconds to decide this so I hopped into a ditch on the left. After about thirty feet, the back tire kicked out and at that point I had to lay it down in a “controlled slide.” This happened here. I rolled off it right after that and basically slid between the poles and the bike. I was roughly a foot from serious injury. The whole time all I could think about were those poles and how bad I was gonna get fucked up by them. When I finally stopped, I was quite shaken and totally out of it. I just paced around for a few minutes before I could even think straight. As soon as I had my shit together, I called Amanda who was at my house with Sean and Lindsay, and told her to come down the road to where I was at. I didn’t tell her what happened, but apparently she was freaking out because of it. That was exactly what I was trying not to do by not telling her what happened. She made Sean and Lindsay come with her so she didn’t have to come up on me all fucked up in a ditch, by herself. Turns out all I fucked up were a pair of shorts and my handlebars. I’m glad she came as soon as she did, cause I was way out of it. When I was done shaking, I drove the bike home and picked up my camera to get some pics of the wreck site. The old guy didn’t even come out of his house until we were back. Apparently Amanda yelled at him as I drove off on the bike because of it. She saw him in the window and yelled something. I don’t remember what, I didn’t even think about him. After we got back I hopped in the shower. After I took a shower, we went down to Duey’s to drink and play pool with Greg and Lisa, errr…Lisa. We all proceeded to get dunk, especially Lindsay, really, really, drunk. So I guess I will take getting drunk at Duey’s with my friends, over being broken and possibly dead in the emergency room. Sorry mom.

It’s too bad I didn’t get my camera out on this whole adventure, so the story will have to do. Friday, after work, Rankin and Lindsay met me at my house to go see Mitch play drums in a show in Madison. We got up there around 9:00 p.m., and met up with Mitch and Wendy at the Capitol building. From there, massive amounts of alcohol. Sean, Lindsay, and I drank quite a bit at the show, and after Mitch was done playing, we went out the back door of the venue. There was another door just to the left of said backdoor, that many “men” kept walking in and out of. I thought it was just another entrance to the back, and maybe it was one of the other bands setting up. Nope, it had occurred to me that all of these guys may very well be gay. They came up to Sean and I and asked if we were in a gang. They said that they were and they were called the bedazzlers. Then, in my infinite fucking wisdom, I came to the conclusion that they MUST be an all gay band going on next. Turns out that was the door to the gay bar next door. Who knew? Well, everybody but me I guess. Anyways, one of the fellas next door talked Lindsay into going in for some shots. If you know Lindsay, that is not a proposition she is likely to turn down. After about 15-20 minutes, I decide to go in after her so we can head down town while the other bands were playing. I made Sean wait outside, because I don’t think he could have handled that much man-love in one sitting. So I walk in, and the first thing I think of is when Mitch and I were walking through Chicago last year, and we walked past this gay bar called “RAM” (a gay treasure.) I couldn’t stop laughing. Finding Lindsay proved to be easier than expected, as she was one out of maybe five women in there. She was sitting at the bar with some guy having a beer after doing about four shots. I told her we were going downtown, and if she wants to go, finish up and let’s go. At that point, her new friend looked at me and said, “OHHHH no you don’t, she’s havin’ fun so were gonna just have another.” Okay, now go back and read that quote again in the most stereotypical gay man’s voice you can think of, and you’ve got it. Normally I don’t have a problem with gay people, but this one was, for lack of a better term, a little too sassy to me. So the asshole kicked in and I said, “Look Sally, I don’t think I was talking to you so leave it alone.” He seemed to have understood. So we left, and went downtown. It was about 1:00 so we only had another hour of solid drinking to do. We walked down to State st. where we proceeded to hit about four more bars in the hour we had left. After the bars closed down, we went back to the venue to meet up with Mitch. We then came up with the great idea to not stay in Madison that night, but drive on home. So we part ways with Mitch and Madison and start driving home around 3:00. We get about an hour out of Madison, and Sean is passed out in the front and Lindsay is passed out in the back. I am slowly passing out driving, so I decide to pull over in Mineral Point WI to sleep for an hour in the car. I pull into a Comfort Inn parking lot and pass out. This is around 4:00. Come 5:00, I am woken up by Sean with a semi-panicked look on his face, asking me, “Where the fuck is Lindsay?” I look in back and sure enough, no Lindsay. Sean then proceeds to call her phone. Well, her phone and purse are still in the car. Sean then notices that he has about 15 missed calls from a 608 area code. He also noticed that he had a voicemail from said number. As it turns out, she hadn’t slept off all of the shots she took at the gay bar. Apparently she woke up, got out of the car, walked about 200 yards to the closed gas station next door, and sat down on the patio furniture in front of the store. Once she sat down, she forgot how she got there, and proceeded to “wait” for us to come back and get her. All the while we are sleeping soundly in my car within eyeshot of this gas station. I guess after waiting a half hour she started walking down the road trying to get to the nearest town. At that point, someone in a mustang saw her walking and offered her use of his phone in exchange for sexual gratification. Okay, I made that part up, but he did offer use of his phone to call us. So she waited at his house for us to call back. We finally got the voicemail as I mentioned earlier, and she ended up about two and a half miles down the road. After we picked her up, I was no longer tired and we made it home by 7:00 a.m. I was then tired for the remainder of the weekend, because I was up at 10:00. For some reason my body wont let me sleep past that. Then I went swimming with Amanda and her whole family by 11:00a.m. I just caught up with my sleep last night.